With overtones of Chris Morris's Brass Eye series, this programme would have been scarcely believable if Five had shown it on April Fool's Day. As it is, you need to have an open mind to take this "ground-breaking" documentary on board without sniggering. For, incredible as it may seem, there are men who are in so in love with their cars that they perform sexual acts with them.
Admittedly there aren't many of these so-called "mechaphiles" around the world. One of the main protagonists, Edward Smith (pictured, left) who lives near Washington, USA, reckons there are only 12 of these unusual bods who communicate on line.
Edward - who wears a peculiar hat for much of this film - is in love with his 1974-era VW Beetle called "Vanilla". He strokes, kisses, washes and cares for the car that he's proud to call his lover. At times his obsession is quite endearing - he's even written a song about her - but Edward is fickle. Easily swayed by the curvaceous looks of other vehicles, he's also attracted by planes and even claims he once made love to Airwolf (the helicopter star of the mid-1980s US drama series).
Nearly 2,000 miles away in Springfield, Missouri, cameras catch up with another mecaphile. Jordan, 20 (pictured, right) is also in love with his car, a heavily modified VW Beetle. He also writes songs about her, and confesses that he "wants to f***" his car. You don't doubt his sincerity, either.
Edward and Jordan have never met another mecaphile, so the film crew suggests that they get together at a car show. Despite a big build-up and a long journey for both men, it's a bit of a letdown when they meet. While they share a total obsession with cars, that's about it. They seem far more interested in studying the tailpipes of their respective vehicles. For the tailpipe, as Edward is keen to tell us, "represents the car's anus and it's just like having anal sex with a car". And Edward is so taken by Todd's car that - in an unsavoury scene - he masturbates against it in a motel car park.
It's plain that these are not normal men who can have a conventional relationship with a member of either sex. Psychologists would undoubtedly have a field day with them, although they don't seem to be doing anyone any harm. Hardly great TV, it's an intriguing documentary, but smacks of freakshow.
although i have caressed my cars talipipe, and licked around its rim.
May 29th, 2008 - 4:02pmVIQAS said...
THIS IS TOTALLY CRAZY AND STUPID, YOU CANT GET THAT DESPERATE THAT YOU START HAVING SEX WITH YOURE CARS. I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH THIS ,, ITS JUST MENTAL IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT
May 29th, 2008 - 9:30amJOE BLOGG said...
WAS DODI FAYED ONE OF THEM COS HE WAS AT IT WITH A PRINCESS!!!!!
May 27th, 2008 - 2:24pmBert said...
Oh so you think its perfectly ok and sane to have sex with cars? That doesnt raise any concerns with you?
Where do you draw the line? Guys doing it with cars is fine but not when they hump the voice box at your local drive thru?
Yeah they dont hurt anyone but its still pretty mental don't you think? And I'm pretty sure you'd change your tune if one morning you found some guy "making love" to that nice new car in your drive way.
Or am I the weird one here coz I have a problem with this?
May 24th, 2008 - 4:57pmChristine said...
Locked up? What the f#ck? Did they hurt anyone or are you just some pitiful, narrow-minded Joe Average?
As long as no one suffers you can't use "sick" in this case. Seriously.
May 22nd, 2008 - 10:20amBert said...
Your all a bunch of a circus freaks and should be utterly ashamed of yourself. Anyone who would get turned on watching Knight Rider should be locked up!!!!!!
May 20th, 2008 - 6:41pmEdward Smith said...
Good synopsis on the story. "peculiar"?
Who's peculiar?
May 19th, 2008 - 9:42pmJordan said...
Paul Strange is a pretty cool guy. Eh thinks I'm weird and doesn't afraid of anything.
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